[ jing yuan knows that displeased tone anywhere, knows that dan feng isn't too keen with being criticized or called out even when he's in the wrong. at the end of the day, he hasn't changed much despite mellowing down after the events of the sedition.
he gently squeezes his hands, fingers curling into the back of dan feng's palms. ]
What of your own well being, High Elder?
[ if his presence causes him so much pain, if seeing him forces him to relive painful memories, then jing yuan prefers otherwise. dan feng, too, is very precious and dear to him that he would rather not let his beloved friend suffer. ]
[ no, he doesn't enjoy being criticized even now, even when he knows that he deserves it; old habits die hard. dragons are not easily changed, eternal as their souls may be. but the squeeze of jing yuan's hands placates him, and dan heng hums, content.
content, until jing yuan continues speaking, at least. ]
Your absence is more painful still, Ah Yuan.
[ dan feng's eyes meet jing yuan's, and he steps in nearer, tipping his brow to touch it lightly to his. the contact is very light, and very bare, yet the bond between them surges for it, warm and comforting. ]
[ the gesture is warm and familiar, jing yuan's eyes instinctively closing the moment their foreheads touch. almost as if his memories are reawakened and he's once more brought back to those days when their worries revolved around campaigns and trainings, around baijiu that tasted terrible and the lines around yingxing's eyes.
he remembers a question someone asked him months ago on how he's able to determine and confirm if he's imprinted on anyone, something he can now effortlessly respond to. ]
You wouldn't have lost me either way, High Elder.
[ even if dan feng decided to distance himself from jing yuan, he would still gladly go to him should he call out to him. at the end of the day, despite the events that tore their friendship apart, he remains someone he cherishes, someone he deeply respects and admires. ]
.. but knowing you are here, and not seeing you, or speaking with you - well.
[ he's made his point well enough, he thinks, and need not extrapolate further. having jing yuan so close and yet so far after all that has happened.. they both know full well that dan feng has nothing left to return to, after karteria, and so he must take advantage of what they have. he squeezes jing yuan's hands. ]
jing yuan knows what words follow that line of thought, understands it well himself. but something he's learned in the years that he's weathered the challenges and calamities of the luofu is that taking a step back and gazing from the shore often gives him a greater sense of appreciation toward others.
distance is, sometimes, the best cure for heartache, for yearning. ]
A proposition?
[ it's not often dan feng is willing to suggest or recommend, the high elder more inclined to getting his way or the highway. jing yuan, of course, is always willing to listen. ] What is it?
[ wtf so he doesn't appreciate gege close up?? ://// ]
Yes. I find myself outgrowing my current lodgings.
[ it's.. fine, i guess. for a hovel. but it's small, and there's more he would like to explore, including hardwood floors. carpeting is awful. it's also lonely, empty, and while dan feng does not mind living alone, he has had quite enough isolation for one lifetime. ]
I have decent savings, but it would be much easier for me to afford somewhere larger if I were to share the space with another.
[ he squeezes jing yuan's hands again, thumbing over the ridges of his knuckles. ]
the proposition is indeed a surprise, though perhaps this is something he should've expected. dan feng had been used to company, even before the events of the sedition, whether it's the preceptors or the high-cloud quintet. he was only isolated after being condemned for an unpardonable sin.
he also should've expected that his current living quarters are small enough for the former high elder, who has lived in opulence for much of his life. but given their circumstances which cannot afford such luxury, it makes sense that "rooming" with another person would alleviate part of the challenge. ]
Only if you're comfortable living with another person, High Elder.
[ they may be friends, but it's an entirely different situation living together. ]
[ he wants to be rich again!! he misses good tea..
jing yuan's surprise is evident, but that is not shocking, all things considered. after a short separation, with dan feng barging into his home, jing yuan surely could not have expected to be asked to room together. ]
I am comfortable with you.
[ he says, earnestly. much as dan feng does not love to be alone after centuries in isolation, he still would not ask just anyone to share space with him. he is particular about close friendships, but jing yuan is jing yuan. ]
That said, I do not mean to force you. "No" is an acceptable answer.
[ no is indeed an acceptable answer here, but jing yuan's aware that dan feng must've swallowed a great deal his pride to even offer this proposition to him. it's not simply an admission that he's outgrown his lodging and is in need of a bigger one, especially not after the past few weeks of being apart. ]
My answer is not a "no", High Elder.
[ as if jing yuan could ever deny dan feng anything he wanted. he's always supported him, always rallied behind his decisions, reckless as they are, having sacrificed so much throughout the centuries.
he was simply concerned that this might be an uncomfortable situation for dan feng. ]
I only wish to be certain of your comfort living with me.
If I were not comfortable with it, I would not have asked.
[ he says simply, clearly. his reasoning is not entirely false - dan feng does wish to have more space, and knows well that he cannot do it so easily alone, but of course that is not his only motive. keeping jing yuan close is more important still. ]
Then, do you accept?
[ even if he does not - though dan feng suspects that he will - he'll still keep him as close as he is able to, will still never relinquish his hold. even after all of this time, the quintet means everything to him, each and every one of them, no matter what they may think of him in return. ]
no subject
he gently squeezes his hands, fingers curling into the back of dan feng's palms. ]
What of your own well being, High Elder?
[ if his presence causes him so much pain, if seeing him forces him to relive painful memories, then jing yuan prefers otherwise. dan feng, too, is very precious and dear to him that he would rather not let his beloved friend suffer. ]
If my presence pains you so ...
no subject
content, until jing yuan continues speaking, at least. ]
Your absence is more painful still, Ah Yuan.
[ dan feng's eyes meet jing yuan's, and he steps in nearer, tipping his brow to touch it lightly to his. the contact is very light, and very bare, yet the bond between them surges for it, warm and comforting. ]
I will not lose you again. I cannot.
no subject
he remembers a question someone asked him months ago on how he's able to determine and confirm if he's imprinted on anyone, something he can now effortlessly respond to. ]
You wouldn't have lost me either way, High Elder.
[ even if dan feng decided to distance himself from jing yuan, he would still gladly go to him should he call out to him. at the end of the day, despite the events that tore their friendship apart, he remains someone he cherishes, someone he deeply respects and admires. ]
You are still, first and foremost, my friend.
no subject
[ dan feng smiles thinly, ruefully. ]
.. but knowing you are here, and not seeing you, or speaking with you - well.
[ he's made his point well enough, he thinks, and need not extrapolate further. having jing yuan so close and yet so far after all that has happened.. they both know full well that dan feng has nothing left to return to, after karteria, and so he must take advantage of what they have. he squeezes jing yuan's hands. ]
I have a proposition for you.
no subject
jing yuan knows what words follow that line of thought, understands it well himself. but something he's learned in the years that he's weathered the challenges and calamities of the luofu is that taking a step back and gazing from the shore often gives him a greater sense of appreciation toward others.
distance is, sometimes, the best cure for heartache, for yearning. ]
A proposition?
[ it's not often dan feng is willing to suggest or recommend, the high elder more inclined to getting his way or the highway. jing yuan, of course, is always willing to listen. ] What is it?
no subject
Yes. I find myself outgrowing my current lodgings.
[ it's.. fine, i guess. for a hovel. but it's small, and there's more he would like to explore, including hardwood floors. carpeting is awful. it's also lonely, empty, and while dan feng does not mind living alone, he has had quite enough isolation for one lifetime. ]
I have decent savings, but it would be much easier for me to afford somewhere larger if I were to share the space with another.
[ he squeezes jing yuan's hands again, thumbing over the ridges of his knuckles. ]
no subject
the proposition is indeed a surprise, though perhaps this is something he should've expected. dan feng had been used to company, even before the events of the sedition, whether it's the preceptors or the high-cloud quintet. he was only isolated after being condemned for an unpardonable sin.
he also should've expected that his current living quarters are small enough for the former high elder, who has lived in opulence for much of his life. but given their circumstances which cannot afford such luxury, it makes sense that "rooming" with another person would alleviate part of the challenge. ]
Only if you're comfortable living with another person, High Elder.
[ they may be friends, but it's an entirely different situation living together. ]
no subject
jing yuan's surprise is evident, but that is not shocking, all things considered. after a short separation, with dan feng barging into his home, jing yuan surely could not have expected to be asked to room together. ]
I am comfortable with you.
[ he says, earnestly. much as dan feng does not love to be alone after centuries in isolation, he still would not ask just anyone to share space with him. he is particular about close friendships, but jing yuan is jing yuan. ]
That said, I do not mean to force you. "No" is an acceptable answer.
no subject
My answer is not a "no", High Elder.
[ as if jing yuan could ever deny dan feng anything he wanted. he's always supported him, always rallied behind his decisions, reckless as they are, having sacrificed so much throughout the centuries.
he was simply concerned that this might be an uncomfortable situation for dan feng. ]
I only wish to be certain of your comfort living with me.
no subject
[ he says simply, clearly. his reasoning is not entirely false - dan feng does wish to have more space, and knows well that he cannot do it so easily alone, but of course that is not his only motive. keeping jing yuan close is more important still. ]
Then, do you accept?
[ even if he does not - though dan feng suspects that he will - he'll still keep him as close as he is able to, will still never relinquish his hold. even after all of this time, the quintet means everything to him, each and every one of them, no matter what they may think of him in return. ]